Interracial dating: Since when are stereotypes important factors in relationships???

Living in Seattle I've seen more interracial couples, black men with white women, than black couples over the age of 18. Being the person that I am I tend to look at life in a broad view from as many perspectives as possible. So, the first thought that comes to my mind is that people can love whoever, whenever, and however they choose, as long as its love that their after. But that's not always the case. Throughout the years I have asked black men why they prefer women outside of their race, and sad enough I've gotten quite similar and negative respones towards black women. Based off of the feedback I've received over the years it has come to my attention that black men think we are too much to handle mentally. For some reason a large sum of black men in Seattle believe the negative stereotypes forced upon black women and stay clear of us like the plaque. But like all issues there are always two ends of the spectrum. So, I wont shy away from the fact there are also black women who stay clear of black men based on similar stereotypes. What I have to ask is; if black men believe stereotypes about black women is it fair to trust in the stereotypes of black men? Or should we be above the cuff and treat them on an individual basis? Isn't it crazy for black people to believe the stereotypes that where created and promoted by the majority to break us down, then run to them for safety and guidance? Is it self hate?