Gay Marriage...

It's none of my business.

Do you.

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I'm one of those WI-FI stealing coffee house whores today...

Times are hard and Clearwire raised my monthly rate so I'm reduced to coffee shop posing while I surf the net and resuscitate my blog... Any who I got a call from my new manager today at 2pm to come in at 3am in the morning to work. I said yes, naturally, because I sort of just got a promotion, and this is training. I'm doing 2 nights of night audit a week. It's more money and less human contact. Perfect for me these day. But I still work 3 days at the front desk in the day. I'm not complaining at all. I've been there a month and got offered more money. What could be better..? EVERYTHING, but that's besides the point. I just wish I knew what time I needed to get to sleep so I'd be well rested. Maybe 7PM...

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My Lady B Is Gone

My grandmother passed almost two weeks ago. We had her rosary and funeral last week. I still don't know what I'm feeling. every time I think about her big brown eyes and unmeasurable love, I stop myself. Why? I have no clue. I'm afraid to really feel anything. I'm afraid that if I touch on my pain, my guilt or my heart that I'll be stuck. I'll be stuck in the same state of shock that captured my body when I was told that she was gone. I'll never be able to explain. My grandmother was my rock. I knew who she was before I knew myself. I'm glad she's not in pain anymore. I guess it's only fair that her physical pain was exchanged for my internal pain.

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You Had It All Along

Why is it that when we've reached a wall we stop and exhale in exhaust. we look up to find an ounce of guidance or motivation as if it was striped from us, piece by piece, with each step leading to reflection. Wracking our brains for answers to questions that once were known. Like the rest of the world we're impatient and need to move fast, so we search outside of ourselves. Hoping to find a quick fix to our state of frustration at life. So we keep searching. We search for the answer to cure it all for so long that we've fallen at that wall. By that time we've started losing our hope, the only shield in life that's truly free. If your smart, you would have remembered that you didn't get to this wall by luck or chance. You will have realized that it was your pursuit of happiness and your God given strength that got you there. And that its those two gifts that will get you through. All you have to do is reflect and gather your fears and trust in what you've known has always been there, but have just forgotten.

Naive@Heart

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Like Hiding From God

I've figured out why I haven't been blogging much, and it's not because my computer died. It's because I've been trying to hide from myself. I've always used my blog as a mental mirror that never failed to acknowledge my flaws. I never saw what I wanted to see but rather who I was, who I am. So I kept my thoughts, challenges, and fears to myself. Where even I couldn't pass judgement. Sad, but all too true. It's really like TRYING to hide from GOD... Impossible, but inevitable. I feel like everyone tries to escape their own truths in search of a false reality that strokes their ego and sings their praises. But that place doesn't exist. And I've come to terms with that. Have you???



Silly Brown Eyed Girl
Naive@Heart

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11 pounds closer...

Remember WAY back in the day , like 6 months ago, when I promised myself I was shooting for Pam Grier's body in Coffy? Well, I'm 11 pounds closer to fitting into her halter top and high-rise shorts. I've made a lifestyle change 4 weeks ago and have already seen improvements in my overall health. I feel alive, confidant and strong. For real I'm eating right taking my vitamins and working my ass off at the gym. I've always had the goal but now I have the determination and drive to execute. It's all coming together... One pound at a time.



Silly Brown Eyed Girl
Naive@Heart

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What to say, what to say...

My grandmother in fading more and more everyday. They keep telling us anyday... Anyday now I'll snap one of them rude ass nurse's neck. (ok got that out of my system) My mother asked me to write something to read at her funeral... I'm at a lost... I'm lost.

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Recession Hurtin Like A Bitch

Where the hell I been!!??!?!?!? Clearly living life. I've been so busy living it that I forgot to record the shit right. Better late than never, right? Maybe not, but I'm back... Again. So I've found my calling, the medical field been screaming my name like a bitch, and I've answered. I'm enrolled in school full time and getting my application for nursing school in order. I've been working like a slave at Starbucks (hating every minute of it). I hate my job, but I've come to realize that it provides me the ability to be broke and not homeless. I've learned to pick my battles... I'm back on my weight loss journey, yet again. This time with a friend. So this seems to be IT.

I have lots to say but I don't have it in me to sit next to this urine drenched bum in the library. I'll be back on the G1.

Until next time...

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I'm Broke Bitch...

Why is it that when your down to your last dollar you run out of toilet paper? I remember back in the day (bottomless pit hotel days) I'd take some from work when a roll ran out. I know triflin, but I was needing to wipe my ass meanwhile they was shaving everybodies hours to keep their pockets heavy. So I kept my pockets heavy... smh... Lol. I love how when your broke bitches act like they can't relate? Damn those short term memory bitches.

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My New BFF, Lady "O"....

I've come to the realization that sex does NOT get old when you experience THE "O" on a regular basis. I don't mean some weak ass yelp and a slight tremble from within. I mean the kind or orgasm that has you calling for Jesus and inviting the devil to play at the same time. The kind of orgasm the makes you forget where you are and who your making love too because your mind is so cleared that you've achieved and exceeded the satisfaction of a man busting a big, hard nut. (Is that too graphic? Let me know... better yet, leave my blog.... NOW.) People would always tell me that seeing a man everyday, and laying down with him would get old and boring. Clearly they have never met Lady "O", because they are sadly mistaken. I'm only writing this because I had a visit with her last night and have decided she's my new BFF. That's all no big story just thought I'd tell y'all about my new best friend and hope that you find your own Lady "O" to befriend, because mine is OFF limits. I'm possessive with my friends...

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Merry Christmas!!!!!!

This is the first Christmas my boyfriend and I have shared together. And let me tell you its been a great one. I got two things I've wanted for months. *drum roll*.............

SHE GOT IT!!!
He got me the T-mobile G1 Google phone and...

This hand-crafted amber necklace I fell in love with at Pike Place Market a few months back while shopping. I love the necklace and I love my man even more for remembering something so small.

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Worst fucking day ever!!!!!!

My day started at 4am with a stiff neck and a race to work. My neck was fucking with me all day. I couldn't look to my left without pain on my face. Then while at work one of my baristas decides she wanted to act a fool ,talking to me like she forgot who was in charge. And to tell you the truth I wish I wasn't cause she would have been fucked up by now. But I can't... Gotta lead by example... lol That's funny. Then, My deodorant just decided to stopped working at 10am and left me panicking and "improvising"... Work was a bitch on top of that hoe not knowing her place. Everything was out of control and I couldn't seem to get in under control. Then my manager tells me my transfer to a different cafe didn't go through because he kept putting it off. Then my cell phone stopped working all together. Pissing me off further. THEN on my way home from work whining to my boyfriend about my shitty day, TWO BIRDS decided to SHIT ON ME!!!!
So, my day was HORRIBLE, but I'm ok. My boyfriend made me feel a whole lot better and now I have a smile on my face. Because I know that things could be worst... I could have been trampled to death by caffeine starved customers.

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I've Been Gone For Too Long

Where the hell have I been???
I've been gone for a minute, but I'm back.
Check for me...

Love,
SBEG

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Love Letter To The Almighty "D"

Dear Mr. Almighty "D",

It's been 11 days since I've felt your goodness... You know that's too long. You know I've been waiting on your limitless love. Your sensuous touch. I know I've played my part in denying my thrust for you, but you've been hiding too. You know what you mean to me. You know what we've been through together. All those nights of unbeatable orgasmic experiences and steamy hazes, how could you deny those? How could you pretend like when you and I were intertwined that we didn't come alive. In between those seconds of breath all I can think about is what you do to me. How all I want is you inside of my being. I can't escape from you. No matter what task is in front of me I'm thinking about loving you the way I've been wanting too. I try to keep my mind on track and stay productive, but I can't. You have to be feeling this too. You have to be feeling deprived. You have to feel the same as I do. Your wanted, BAD. I can promise you that I'll do whatever it takes... I'm waiting on you.

P.S. You wont be disappointed...

Love,
SBEG

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Random Musings

I’m tired of doing what you feel is correct
I’m tired of pretending to adapt to your way and trade of knowledge
I’m not rebelling I’m responding
To the acceptance of unified failure
To the acknowledgement of feared content
And easy breath with neon signs before personal thought

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