I Wish It Was Black & White
Sunday, August 17, 2008
It's been 2 days since I've talked to my boyfriend after an intense night of arguing. I know this is the kind of shock, but the shit hit the fan, and hard. We argued over the idea of having friends of the opposite sex. Naturally, I was for it since I have always had male friends, but my boyfriend found it difficult to think that another man might know as much about me as he does. While he was pleading his case only one word came to mind, INSECURE. And being the person that I am, I refused to cater to his little bruised ego, that's not my style. But after about 45 minutes into this talk-a-thon I realized that maybe everything didn't have to go my way. Maybe I should respect his feelings and move on with him from there. But not without speaking my piece. This issue may not be a reason to end a relationship with great potential but, it isn't reason enough to shut a mouth with great volume. So I had to let him know what I thinking and why. In the end I agreed to end the budding friendship that I thought would last for years. I'm not happy about it, but I guess that was a sacrifice that I had to make for the greater good, our relationship.
I decided to back up from the situation and look at it from as many perspectives as my stressed in love mind could handle. And decided to forgive him. He has a right to feel the way he feels and I'm not in any position to tell him otherwise. Over time we'll develop the trust it will take to withstand the obstacle of having friends of the opposite sex, but that day is not today, so all I can do is wait. He's worth waiting for.
2 comments:
you ever think that maybe your own activities are causing his insecurity? in fact, maybe it's your own insecurities that lead you to develop relationships with other guys.
i'm just walkin in on this now. so i don't know everything that's going on. you're kind of quiet about YOU. so, it seems very one-sided, without you assessing your own attitude. it's as if when he's upset, it's his problem. at any point in your relationship, has it ever been a problem of your own?
just random generalizations i've seen in situations like these.
Friends of the opposite sex is always a touchy subject in relationships. So difficult to deal with.
I told my guy from the beginning that most of my friends are male & it's always been that way. I also told him about my ex (yanno, what I posted in your previous blog). I explained WHY I maintained my friendship with him. Present guy wasn't exactly thrilled about it, but he didn't throw a (pardon what I'm about to say) bitch fit, either.
Over the course of our relationship, our bond, our trust grew and it became less & less of an issue. I wish the same to you. Just remember...love, trust & open communication =]
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