Youthful Mistakes

In a tough spot
Can't breathe
My need to get away
Stronger than life
Needing more time
A way to erase the minds involved
Future far from sight
Distant memory a myth
Only the present sends bricks to spine weighing me down
Holding my breath
Hurricanes in my stomach
Pain in my sight
Why don't I listen
Mimic the good
Imitate the rules play by play
Crazy were my thoughts
Fear controls my mind
I try to sweat it out
Like a cold it takes it time
There are many ways I could have prevented
There were plenty of opportunities to cover my tracks
Repeated delay
Against intelligence
How do I explain
I can't explain
I won't excuse
Or can I
I'll tell you what this is
A lesson learned
The young becoming new to adulthood
Claiming responsibly
I guess I don't know it all
I'm just a kid playing an adult game

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Real Talk: Let Your Guard Down

What to do
What to do
He says all the right things
His actions speak volumes
What else could I want
Why is it so easy
To judge and not commit
Stay protected
Wrapped up safe
In the scars from past mistakes
And believed deceit
I pretend I hate
Thinking back to those hard times
Feeling loved in those past times
Knowing real
Now vision corrected
Hindsights a bitch
Pass the message
I see the new going in loves direction
Looking back for my acceptance
Weighed down
Thinking I need more protection
From the pain I’m sure he’ll cause
But the evidence is less than sufficient
I’m healed but holding on to those scars
As if I need proof that a battle was lost
He’s telling me he loves my flaws
He swears he’s breaking down those walls
Minute by minute I know his plan is lost
It’s up to me to open my heart
This love thing takes two
I’m sure he’ll know where to start

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Negative Thoughts

When nothing turns out right
Time stands still
Forcing you to soak up every failed choice and action
Depending on your status
There might be an audience
Anxiously waiting for your predicted demise

When love turns its back on you
Gravity pulls you closer
Whispering in your ear ever so gently
To crave it
To need it
And its just your luck the heart you’ve selected is open
Just not to you

When your money is funny
Your sadly depressed
Your world is in shit and the stench keeps you seconds from breath
Professional help is far down your list
The price you’d pay is more than your rent
So you max out your credit
And pretend those bills don’t exist
Living the “American Dream”
It sucks
Life’s a bitch…

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The Image of Me

Can I help you understand
I’m exactly what you see
I’m not some deep intellectual soul that drops wisdom inclined knowledge on a daily basis
I don’t think before I speak
I blurt out the first thing that graces my brain
I don’t complete most things I start
I procrastinate until it’s often too late
I’m not this remarkable being that handles every situation delicately and precise
I try to avoid stable solutions in fear that they might take more time and patience than I’m wiling to give
I’m not always considerate of anyone’s feelings
Because I’ve always had to protect and control my own
I don’t know a little of anything
I pretend and feed my ego those mouth watering lies it craves so much
I’m not who I appear to be
I’m someone else
Someone less appealing
Someone worth the love but with extreme caution
This is me
I’m nothing less
Nothing more than
The image I wish to be
The person you see in me

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