Estranged

For the majority or my life my relationship with my parents has always been strained. I'm not going to put the blame solely on them, but I will say that they have always been the adults and I have always been the child... Now that I am older I have forced a relationship with my mother. Abandoning all the pain and anger she produced during my childhood. I learned that as an adult I may need her. Not as much as before, but I know that I do need her support. Through time she has learned from a few of her mistakes from the past, but will always miss the most important points. And I can live with that, so I just ignore her shortcomings because I know I have mine and try to create a bond based on more than false hopes. But when It comes to my father... He has and forever will be on my shit list. He simply doesn't acknowledge our blood relation and paternal bond that I thought a daughter is supposed to have with her father. When a man mentally abuses and berates a defenseless woman on a daily basis it is unacceptable, but when a man does that to a child it's... You get the point. When I look at my father I don't see a man that raised me, but a man that made my childhood an obstacle I had to overcome, for my sanity. Luckily, I made it through, but these days he and I are estranged. And until he can own up to his undeniable faults and approach me like an adult, then that's all we'll be. It's sad but true. I'm not as naive as I look...

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WWW.WETWHITEPUSSY.COM

NOT!!!

For the last four days I've seen this website in my address history log on my computer... My boyfriend has been patrolling this site continuously and it's starting to rub me the wrong way. Considering it's my computer and the fact that he told me that he just clicked on some email he received as junk mail. But then it hit me... The address wouldn't be in the address log unless he put it in himself. So this negro lied to me. Now, I don't have a problem with porn and my man watching it every now and then, but when it comes to him looking at pictures of the same women, WHITE WOMEN, repeatedly I take offense. PLUS has a user name... Am I tripping????

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I Need A Fucking Vacay!

This week I'm pulling a double every day. I'm at my new job in the A.M. and the bottomless pit in the P.M.. I guess I didn't think this out to well, because last night I didn't get home and in bed until 12:30am and came to work at 4:45am the next morning. I was on time like a pro but I think I'm so tired that I actually think I'm well rested. Crazy right? Any who after this week I'm gonna need a vacation. *mentally checking my lent filled pockets* Only if I could afford it... Once again Adult Bills beats out Teenage Salary in the on going fight of my over drawn bank account. Shit is rough... I need a fucking sugar daddy. Fuck this love shit... SMH just joking! lol

Y'all know I love my Mandingo warrior

Until next time...
Gotta get back to training

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I Got On Top, And I Didn't Fall Off

Hey Naive Readers!!!!!

I have good news! I've mastered riding the "D" In a previous post I asked for help on riding the "D" successfully in Riding The Magic Stick. Mandii Nichole of Robots Ate My Grandmother gave me a link that gave me the best visual and instructional help the web has to offer Sex Info 101. Seriously, the shit helped and my man is loving it. I wish y'all could see his face... Or maybe not but lets just say he was VERY VERY VERY pleased... lol

Ok that's all for now.
Until next time...

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Riding The Magic Stick

I have always been afraid of getting on top... I always thought it would be too uncomfortable, or that my partners dick was too small to have any real reaction, so why bother? Not until recently have I ventured into this uncharted ground, and HONESTLY it was bad. I learned two things.

1. It's easier on the couch.
2. It's a workout (So a bitch can forget about the gym and stretch before conquering the almighty dick) Lesson learned.

My boyfriend seemed to love it. He's been complaining about me just laying there making noises... As if that isn't hard work. lol But then I have to remind him that THE EXTRAS, and yall know what I mean by extras, take a lot of MULTITASKING skills that I know he does not posses. That's a woman's game... With the exception of a few elite gay men. SMH... But any who, I just wonder if there are some tips that I must posses in order to last longer than 10 minutes before my legs cramp up? And If there is a rhythm I should have let a sista know.

P.S. If you didn't know I was raunchy... Now you know. lol

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How I Spent My Friday Night...

I bet the picture speaks for itself but let's dig deep to the preparation of what undoubtedly went down. First my man and I went to Mama's Kitchen, a Mexican dive up the street from my spot, and ate like heathens. After some hot ass hell salsa, two sprites and a greasy ass tamale we were off to the nearest drugstore to find a way to burn off the cheese balls they call beans. At Rite-Aid we immediately went for the condoms and found the "Pleasure Pack" on sale. Pleasure on a budget... Smh... We picked up the Mike's Hard Lemonade and some batteries and headed to the check out. I'm not feeling any shame at this point. I was just excited about the events that were going to take place. Thinking "Orgasms here I cum". Any who the cashier was this old white man that looked at my man like he wanted to say, "You should be ashamed of yourself." that was funny... So we headed back to my spot and the MINUTE I stepped into my apartment, Mama's Kitchen started WORKING on my ass in a big way. Had me on the john for 30 minutes MINIMUM, putting my evening on pause... So I jump in the shower and pushed play on my night. Nobodies KITCHEN is keeping me away from my "O".

P.S. The batteries were for the remote, it's movie night bitches!

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Dumb Bitches United On My Ass

Dumb bitches must be conspiring against me today... When did they have this secret bitch meeting to discuss how to better piss me off today. I'm super confused because these bitches are pushing the fucking envelope and I'm about ready to push the fuck back... I feel better now. THANK YOU FOR READING.

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I'm A Lush...

I'm a lush.... I have serious problems with drinking... Well not really, but my once a month visit to Tipsyville greatly anticipated. I'm a super light-weight and get super tipsy from my first cup. I wonder why??? Maybe it's because I haven't built up my tolerance to alcohol yet, or the fact that I down my first drink in 5 minutes, but who knows. shm... And what makes things worse, I'm an under age drinker so you know what that means... No nice glasses for me, it's those plastic red cups that help wet my whistle. I have problems, but it's about that time again. SOMEBODY GET ME A DRINK!!!

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Wanted: Fantasy Phone Artist

Last night I watched one of my favorite Spike Lee movies, Girl 6, and had an idea to earn a little extra cash… So I went on Craig’s List to look up ‘Fantasy Phone Artist’ openings and found a few. As curious as I am I called this morning to speak with the hiring manager and had an over the phone ‘interview’. Turns out my voice is just what their looking for. I’m thinking they say that to everybody, until they tell me that if I didn’t get any request after the initial set up that I would be released. Who knew it could be so competitive?

The fantasy phone company works very similar to the independent system homegirl in Girl 6 had. Finding that out I couldn’t help but imagine a crazy ass Italian dude at the phone booth down the street yelling in the phone that he was going to fuck me up. My scary ass got spooked and told the lady thanks but no, I’d rather brave against hot grease from the fry stand at the stadium. Which I wouldn’t do either, unless they were paying 20/hr plus benefits.

Needless to say, I’m not bold enough to be a fantasy phone artist, but I might do some volunteer work for man my when I’m too far from reach…

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Can I Borrow a dollar...?

Just when you think that there aren't any kind people roaming the earth, a stranger lends you a hand. Earlier in the day, I was running short on time to eat before I had to head over to work, so I dashed out to the taco spot around the corner for a quick bite. In a rush I grabbed what I thought was around 9 or 10 dollars from my wallet, only to find out at the cashier it was only 7 dollars. Normally this would have been fine except my food, which had already been cooked and waiting for me to dig my mouth into, was a little over 8 bucks. While I was searching for change in my coat pocket, a man behind me signaled to the cashier to put my order on his card. Feeling like a fool I thanked him and left. Even at this moment, I'm not sure how I feel, which made me realize that me being on the receiving end of an act of kindness happens few and far in between. The man was a nice looking white man, who I think I may have seen around the way, but have never spoken to. Although this is merely insignificant, it made my day in an odd way. Almost gave me hope for man kind. Until I walked home and saw a homeless man sleeping in front of a high end spa, being ignored by every Paris and Nikki wannabe entering the salon for $80 manicures. The world is truly whacked.

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Interracial dating: Since when are stereotypes important factors in relationships???

Living in Seattle I've seen more interracial couples, black men with white women, than black couples over the age of 18. Being the person that I am I tend to look at life in a broad view from as many perspectives as possible. So, the first thought that comes to my mind is that people can love whoever, whenever, and however they choose, as long as its love that their after. But that's not always the case. Throughout the years I have asked black men why they prefer women outside of their race, and sad enough I've gotten quite similar and negative respones towards black women. Based off of the feedback I've received over the years it has come to my attention that black men think we are too much to handle mentally. For some reason a large sum of black men in Seattle believe the negative stereotypes forced upon black women and stay clear of us like the plaque. But like all issues there are always two ends of the spectrum. So, I wont shy away from the fact there are also black women who stay clear of black men based on similar stereotypes. What I have to ask is; if black men believe stereotypes about black women is it fair to trust in the stereotypes of black men? Or should we be above the cuff and treat them on an individual basis? Isn't it crazy for black people to believe the stereotypes that where created and promoted by the majority to break us down, then run to them for safety and guidance? Is it self hate?

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Am I playin myself..?

I've been thinking about the whole personal blogger thing and whether or not I've crossed a line at some point. I've always been a secretive person towards people I'm familiar with, but have always been able to share things with strangers easily. Why? I don't know, but what I do know is that sharing small parts of my life with my blog and it's readers has given me a new outlet to clear my mind. But what I'm unsure about are the lines I may cross by exposing too much or offending too many people by my views. It's good to find that happy medium, but I might need help defining those lines. Thoughts?

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Just A Little Tipsy...

When I'm a little inebriated things become a little clearer. Choices I've made in the pass few weeks have been down right silly peppered with some maturity and tact, but just a dash. And what I’ve decided to cap off my week with is this thought... I want some dick and I want to be single... That sounds bad... Right?

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My not so secret power... super expanding strength..?

So right now my body has been stretched to the utmost and I plan to shrink it over the next 5 to 6 months. Right now I'm looking for a diet and a workout regimen that makes sense to me and my body. I've been searching. And now its time to crack down on this. Because nothing is worse than seeing somebody you don't particularly like from your high school years when your not at your best. And I need to be on top of my shit. So I'm getting into this and will be recording why struggle through this ordeal. Wish me luck...

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Ok I'm late but Britney Spears's Blackout is... good

Let me start off by saying I'm not ashamed! This shit is hot. I heard it for the first time yesterday and was seriously impressed. I mean we all know the crazy bitch can't sing but she's doing her thing and I'm not mad at it. When this album came out she was really at the height of her tomfoolery but now she's starting to get her shit together and I'm glad. But Brit, when are you going to tend to your damn WEAVE!!!

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You aint on my mind.... I'm thinkin bout paychecks

Why is there always somebody posted in the wings waiting for you to get some insight and a new positive direction to come and fuck it up. I mean I left the house yesterday with my mind right for real. Told myself to leave the stress behind and focus on my finals coming up and staying enthusiastic about work. I was doing good too. I'm still doing good, but damn if that bitch didn't try to take me off my square. I'm sitting at work writing a post when this bitch called herself blowing up my phone with calls and a text. Curious as I am I wondered what could be so urgent. So I text her back... And do you know what this chick wanted? Something that wouldn't concern her if I was doing it in front of her. I'm not going to say what it was about, but lets just say it wouldn't make or break either of our day. What bothers me the most is when people don't know their place in my life and start stretching their boundaries. Seriously WTF!!! If I'm not thinking about you... Then it's only fair you keep me out your thoughts especially if it's negative.

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The less productive I become, the less I start to care

Things are moving extremely slow for me these days. Usually I'm upset at how fast everything is, but the alternative is dismal. I can't believe my life has become so routine that I'm searching for ways to shake it up. And nothing that's shaken too much ends well. It's almost border line destructive to say the least. I find myself being one of those people that starts arguments for the thrill of the fight. Being real loose with my mouth. How am I going to get through this??? I need to nip this shit in the bud before these people I've been abusing start pushing back.

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Silly Brown Eyed Girl....

So, life is crazy right now... Because I made it this way. I have a love/hate relationship with my current job. Dealing with grouchy arrogant guest and bossing people around in the oh so fatal passive aggressive way. I have a man thinking I'm the one he needs to spend the rest of his life with. An ex using me as his sole support system through rehab... By the way, I totally bailed on him and now I'm feeling real shitty. I'm not taking the class load I need to finish school fastest. I keep saying I'm gonna get my shit together and make my adult life peaceful and productive but with good head and great friends added into the mix.

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