The less productive I become, the less I start to care

Things are moving extremely slow for me these days. Usually I'm upset at how fast everything is, but the alternative is dismal. I can't believe my life has become so routine that I'm searching for ways to shake it up. And nothing that's shaken too much ends well. It's almost border line destructive to say the least. I find myself being one of those people that starts arguments for the thrill of the fight. Being real loose with my mouth. How am I going to get through this??? I need to nip this shit in the bud before these people I've been abusing start pushing back.